Hanging On
by Madpadz
Summary: Jax and Tara's relationship before Tara leaves to go to school outside of Charming. Drama and romance to ensue. Rated M for language and mature themes that will appear later in the story.


**A/N: **Really fast before you start, this is my first SOA fanfic. This is actually the first fic I've written in a few years. The characters may seem a little OOC at first but don't worry-they're young and naive and they will grow into the characters we all know well. Hopefully. Also Kurt Sutter owns everything including my heart that he shattered into a million pieces with this stupid TV show.

* * *

One thing Tara Knowles didn't want to be listening to at the moment was the annoying, meaningless conversation of two of her classmates behind her—it was the second week of her junior year of high school, and she could already feel the pressure her schoolwork was going to put on her. She was in mostly honors classes, but she felt like she could handle it. Besides, she needed to challenge herself and do well in order to get into a pre-med school somewhere outside of Charming. Sure, she loved Charming—well, she loved her best friend, Donna Lerner. The rest of the small town didn't really interest her. She felt trapped, knowing the same people for years and constantly reminding her of her not-so-wonderful life at home. Her dad was an alcoholic, that Tara was most aware of, and didn't really take care of himself other than to sling his half-conscious, hungover body through the door every morning for work. If she didn't feel the need to take care of him, she wouldn't feel so guilty for thinking of leaving Charming; he and Donna were the only things really keeping her here, she realized as she heard the girl behind her continue to talk about the first dance of the school year.

"I mean, homecoming isn't as big of a deal as prom, but I still want to be prepared and be ready to like, look really good and everything, you know? I know we're only juniors now, but if I want to be considered for homecoming queen next year, I'll wanna look really hot this year, too."

"Ima, it's the second week of school. Homecoming isn't for like, two months," her brunette friend replied, pulling a stick of gum out of her backpack.

Tara rolled her eyes. If only that was the reason she had to worry when she got up in the morning. It wasn't that Tara didn't like to do girly things—on the contrary, she and Donna loved to treat themselves to manicures and new clothes on occasion, but popularity and shitty plastic crowns to raise people up on social pedestals didn't interest her. The corners of her mouth turned upward as she thought of herself winning homecoming queen; maybe she would break the crown into pieces instead of making an acceptance speech. Or maybe she would just flip the bird and tell everyone she was getting the fuck out of this town.

"What are you smiling at?" Donna Lerner asked, plopping down in the desk next to Tara and letting the binder in her arms fall onto its surface with a smack.

"Oh, you know, the usual," Tara replied as she turned to face her best friend.

"Thinking about flipping the bird and telling someone to fuck off?"

"Donna, you know me better than I know myself. Maybe I'll take you as my homecoming date and next year we can cause a scandal by being elected first lesbian couple as homecoming king and queen," Tara said, and Donna giggled when Ima turned to glare at them.

"And be on Ima's hit list? No thanks. I don't have time to deal with homicidal teenage sluts. But speaking of homecoming…" Donna trailed off and looked at Tara. Tara waited for her to continue.

"Okay…what about it?"

"So I know this sounds a little middle-schoolish and I'm kind of embarrassed, but… I think that maybe I have…" Donna trailed off again.

"You have what?" Tara urged. "Herpes? A deadly disease?"

"God, Tara, no," she laughed, but leaned closer to Tara. "I think I actually have a crush on someone."

"Donna," Tara replied with a mock-scolding tone, "how long has this been going on? Who are you cheating on me with? My lesbian dream is dead."

Donna broke out into a smile, obviously eager to share the information with her friend; Tara wondered how long she had waited to tell her this. She and Donna were both 16, but hadn't really had any serious relationships yet. They didn't really talk much about anything romantic, other than the few hook-ups they both had occasionally. Tara had dated a boy in their grade, David Hale, at the end of their freshman year and through the beginning of sophomore year. Regardless of the fact that they had dated for close to six months, she didn't consider it to be a serious relationship; they started hooking up, they had fun, and she liked him enough to tolerate him being around, but in the end she broke things off because he was obviously much more serious about her than she was about him. Donna hadn't really dated anyone at all. Tara was excited for her.

"His name is Harry—well, he goes by Opie. He's a senior in my Algebra class. But…"

"But what?"

"Well… he's a prospect. For that MC that's stationed at that car shop here. Sons of Anarchy." Her eyes searched Tara's face to gauge a reaction.

Of course Tara knew who the Sons of Anarchy were. Everyone in Charming knew who they were. Tara didn't have much knowledge about the motorcycle club other than the fact that they ran a car repair garage, they all wore jackets with the same logo, and it was pretty much a known fact that they were miscreants and got up to some kind of criminal activity. She didn't know any of the guys personally, but the whole school knew that two of the prospects were their classmates; it was impossible to miss the roar of their motorcycles as they rolled into the parking lot in the morning.

"Well, you like him, right?" Tara asked her. Donna nodded.

"He's really sweet. I've been helping him out in class. We sit next to each other so we get partnered up for group work most of the time. And I know what you're thinking, wow, Sons of Anarchy and all that and my parents will probably not like it and everyone will talk but he asked me out on a date and—"

"You like him, right?" Tara asked again, cutting her off before she talked until she couldn't her face turned blue from lack of oxygen.

"Well, yeah—"

"Then who cares what everyone else thinks, Donna? You deserve to have a chance to be happy with someone. And you said he's nice—we don't know these guys personally. Who are we to judge them?"

"Wow. Thanks, Tara. I really needed to hear that. He asked me yesterday and I stayed up all night thinking about what I should do." Donna put her hand on Tara's forearm.

"Okay, Donna. I'm not Opie. Don't get all mushy on me."

"Shut up!" Donna pushed Tara's arm playfully as the bell rang. "I have to head to Algebra. Don't wanna be late!"

"Bye, Cinderella!" Tara called after as she ran to the hallway.

* * *

Jax Teller hated school. It's not that he wasn't smart or didn't have the capability to do well, he just… didn't enjoy sitting in class all day and being forced to learn things he didn't care about. He made passing grades so his mom wouldn't get on his case, but he had no real interest in scholarly pursuits. Now that he was a prospect, he had even less motivation to go to school and finish homework; he was working at Teller-Morrow anyway—that and money from the club would be more than enough to give him a good, stable life. He knew Opie felt the same way; they had both been planning to join the club basically since they were born. After his dad died, Jax just felt a stronger urge to prove himself worthy of his father's legacy. He wanted to be an integral part of the club his father had left behind.

"Hope you're not hurting your head thinking too hard, brother," Opie said as he walked up to meet Jax, who was leaned up against the wall of the gymnasium smoking a cigarette. "Skipping Environmental Science again?"

"Do I look like I give a shit about the environment?" Jax replied with a grin, holding up his cigarette for emphasis. Opie chuckled and pulled a pack of his own out of the back pocket of his jeans. He lit the cigarette and exhaled smoke out of his nose.

"Already skipping class," Opie stated again. "There must not be any good-looking pussy in any of yours."

"Nothing I haven't seen before," Jax said. "Guess I lost my wingman, huh? Not that I needed one, but I'll miss our good times. How is the new pussy?"

"She's not just pussy," Opie said, taking another drag from his cigarette.

"I didn't mean it like that, man."

"I know. I just… she's nice. She's funny and I can tell she doesn't care about the club shit," Opie explained.

"She doesn't know any of the club shit, Ope," Jax reminded him. It was hard for any members of the club to have steady, healthy relationships. Sometimes bad shit happened and most of the time, the guys couldn't tell their women. It was just the life.

"I know, Jax. But you know what I mean. Most of the girls we meet… they like us because they know who we are. They know we're in the Sons and they think it's hot. Donna just seems to like _me_."

"Well," Jax started as he clapped Opie on the shoulder, "I hope it works out, brother. I'll have to meet her, you know. Check out if she's old lady material."

"You know that's your mom's job. But you'll meet her soon enough. I asked her out yesterday. She said yes." Opie turned to him and grinned.

"And now I'm a lone wolf." Jax said, his teeth bared in a cheeky smile. "Oh well. More pussy for me."

"Shut up." Opie pushed his shoulder and Jax chortled. They both threw their cigarettes onto the ground and walked to their respective classes.

* * *

"I really want you to meet him," Donna told Tara as she leaned up against the wall of lockers while Tara placed some of her books in her own locker. "We can go sit with him right now. He has this lunch period, too."

Tara wasn't particularly in the mood to meet new people; she had a headache from her chemistry class and thinking about the fact that her dad got off of work early tonight, which meant she was probably in for some drunk rambling and tucking him in on the sofa later. She rubbed the back of her neck and thought about the list of excuses she could give to get some time to herself.

She internally scolded herself for being selfish. Donna was her friend, and Tara knew her approval of Opie would mean a lot to her.

"Sure, we can. You can go meet him now if you want, I need to write down a couple of things in my planner before I forget. I'll find you guys in there."

"Okay, great!" Donna exclaimed, turning on her heels and practically skipping into the cafeteria. Tara shook her head and laughed before turning back to her locker and rummaging around for her planner. She found it underneath two heavy textbooks, and her attempt to slide it out without lifting them up first resulted in all three of them tumbling out of her locker and onto the floor. Cursing, she bent down to pick them up just as someone passed by her locker door a little too closely, nudging it with their foot and causing it to hit Tara on the side of her head.

"Ow. Shit, fucking—" Tara let out a stream of quiet curses as she rubbed the aching spot on her head.

"Fuck, I'm sorry."

"No, don't worry—hi," she stopped short as she turned to see the culprit of the door-slamming and found a tall, blonde-haired (and _hot_, she thought to herself) boy standing in front of her.

"Hi," he said, smiling down at her. "I'm Jax. Jax Teller. I'm really sorry about that. Are you okay?"

Once he said the name it dawned on her—she knew that name. She knew his face, too. He was one of the prospects for the Sons that went to school here; she had seen him ride up on his motorcycle before. Her eyes settled on his t-shirt that read SAMCRO; yes, she knew who he was. She had never seen him up close, though; and boy, was it worth it. Tara typically found that she had high standards for men, and he surpassed most of the expectations she had in the handsome department. She suddenly became aware of the fact that she was wearing a lousy three-year-old tank top that she bought her freshman year that was, in all honesty, too small for her to wear anymore; a solid strip of skin stuck out between the bottom of the shirt and waistband of her jeans. The top of her black bra was sticking out of the neckline of the tank top; she swiftly covered it with the flannel shirt she wore open over it. Her hair was probably a mess—had she even put deodorant on this morning? Wait, yes, she had in the car. She blushed as she realized she hadn't answered for several seconds.

"Oh—uh yeah, I'm fine, don't worry about it. I'm already going crazy anyway," she joked, rejoicing internally when he broke into a laugh instead of just staring at her in response to her lame sense of humor. Jax moved closer to her, leaning down to pick up her books.

"Where do you want these?" He asked her, balancing them all easily in one hand.

"I'll take them and put them back in here," she replied, thanking him as he handed them back to her.

"So, what's your name?" Jax's eyes bore into hers, and Tara thought she could look at him all day. _If Opie looks anything like this, I can understand why Donna wants him. _

"My name is—"

"Tara!" Donna interrupted, jogging out of the cafeteria. "You're taking forev—oh. Hi. Sorry. I didn't realize you had company," gesturing to Jax as she reached the two of them. She took in his face and then his t-shirt, and realization dawned on her face. "You must be Jax. I'm Donna."

"Donna?" Jax said, recognition in his eyes. "You're with Opie."

Donna giggled, and Jax smirked a little. It made Tara smile involuntarily.

"Yeah—I mean, I guess so," Donna said. "This is my best friend, Tara. Although, I guess you've already met her."

"If you count slamming a locker door into the side of her head, then yeah, I did meet her." Donna's eyes widened and he laughed. "Don't worry, I apologized. She said the mental damage has already been done, anyway." He laughed again as he looked at Tara. She felt like her ears were on fire.

"Yeah, you have to watch it with this one," Donna said playfully, a spark in her eyes that Tara recognized too well; it was the look of the match-maker. "Well, we were actually going to eat lunch with Opie. Do you have lunch this period, too?"

"Yeah. Looks like we're headed in the same direction."

"Well, I'm gonna run to the bathroom really quick. You could walk Tara to the table," suggested Donna. "Unless you need to come, Tara."

"Um," her eyes shifted to Jax, and when she found him staring back she quickly switched her gaze back to Donna. "no, I'm okay. I'll just go with Jax. I have to wait in the line for lunch anyway."

Donna nodded happily then turned to make her way to the bathroom. Tara, unsure of what to say to the hot biker standing next to her, closed her locker and took a few seconds longer than necessary to make sure the combination lock was locked properly. When she turned around, Jax was staring at her with his arm held out for her to grab.

"I was told a crazy lady needed escorting into the cafeteria," he said with a smirk gracing his features. His smile lit up his entire face.

"Who knew bikers were so charitable? Should I call the press?" Tara asked as she grabbed onto his arm. Jax let out a genuine bark of laughter.

"I like you, Tara," he said as they made their way into the cafeteria. Tara rubbed the back of her shyly. She felt her cheeks redden when Jax smiled at her wordlessly before handing her a tray to put her lunch on.

* * *

Jax watched Tara as her eyes scanned the food options in front of her. She was pretty—well, more than pretty. She had nice, long brown hair. Well, he thought she had long hair; she wore it in a bun. She also had nice tits. _Calm down, Teller, _he told himself. It wasn't that he just naturally made his eyes wander there, but her bra was sticking out of her shirt by her locker and the tank top she was wearing was _really _tight and her loose bun made her hair look all messy and sexy and—

"Are you getting anything?" Her voice broke through his thoughts.

"Yeah, I'm starving," he replied without a beat. "What about you? Is that seriously all you're eating?"

They both looked down at her tray, which now held a small basket of fries and a bag of chips.

"Well, you know… I'm not that hungry," she finished lamely. Jax shook his head before grabbing himself some fries and asking the cafeteria worker for a hamburger behind the counter.

"Healthy. Big breakfast?" he asked casually, thanking the woman for his hamburger.

"No," Tara replied as they walked towards the soda machine. "I don't really eat breakfast."

"Do you eat?"

"God, yes, dad," she replied sarcastically. Jax would've thought she meant it in a mean way if he hadn't noticed the way the corners of her mouth turned up cutely. He felt a smile creep onto his own face. He nudged her lightly in the side with his elbow, directing his grin at her specifically. She returned it before looking back at the soda machine and pressing the Diet Coke button and digging in her back pocket for a dollar.

_Damn, nice legs too, _he thought, taking in the way her jeans hugged her tightly all the way from her ass to her ankles except for where they were ripped at the knees.

"Hey, Tara," a deep voice sounded from behind him; he turned quickly to see who it belonged to.

David Hale stood in front of him, smiling at Tara. Jax felt his chest puff out a little; it wasn't that he didn't like Hale, but… they had their differences. He had some family in the police force and seemed to have that same noble streak running in him. They had had a few encounters at some parties, not all of them civil. It wasn't that David never did anything bad; he drank and smoked like the most of the people their age did, but he certainly didn't seem to like Jax and Opie very much. He had probably heard some of the shit with the club that wasn't in the newspapers from his cop relatives and figured since they were prospects that they were scum. Something about the way he looked at Tara though—like he really wanted her, and that he was more than surprised to see her standing next to Jax Teller. Tara's smile that had been directed at him faltered a little, but Jax didn't miss the gesture.

"Hi, David," she replied sweetly. Jax realized she was putting on a good face; he wondered what was going on between them. There was obviously something.

"Teller," Hale acknowledged, nodding his head in Jax's direction. Jax nodded back.

"Hale," he replied. A moment of silence ensued, and Jax could tell Tara was uncomfortable by the way she began to shift lightly from foot to foot. "You ready, Tara?"

"Yeah," she said quickly; he barely even had time to finish his question. "See you around, David."

Jax nodded and grabbed her Diet Coke out of the machine, placing it on her tray for her. She smiled at him thankfully and they began to walk towards the table where Jax could see Opie sitting.

"Tara, wait—" Hale said, his arm up halfway like he meant to reach out to her, but caught himself doing it and stopped. Tara and Jax both turned to look at him. Jax watched Tara's face for a reaction; he didn't see one. She didn't seem particularly bothered by him, but she didn't look like she wanted to talk to him, either.

"I'll talk to you later, David," she told him with more finality than her first goodbye. She began walking again and Jax followed behind her, grabbing her arm and pointing her to the right table when she started walking in the wrong direction.

"What was that about?" Jax asked her, hoping he wasn't out of line. She shrugged.

"We dated once. I ended it," she explained to him as they watched Donna take a seat at the table next to Opie.

"He's still got it for you, huh?"

"Yeah, a big, hard raging one apparently."

"Well, he was probably a little uneasy. He doesn't seem to like me and Opie too much."

"Bad biker boys cause too much trouble for Mr. Future Cop?"

"Yeah," he replied with a smile, "something like that."

* * *

Tara smiled as she walked back to the Cutlass in the school parking lot; it had been a better day than she had originally thought it would be. She liked Opie and was happy for Donna, but if she was honest with herself, she was truly intrigued by Jax—he seemed genuine, but still mysterious. _Mysterious_, she scoffed in her head, _I sound like a middle-aged woman looking for some trashy romance._ She had reached her car door when a hand came down on her shoulder suddenly, making her jump noticeably.

"Holy shit!" Tara exclaimed as she turned around and came face to face with David. "Shit, David. You scared me."

"Sorry," he said, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. "But I wanted to talk to you. I'm having a party this weekend, you know, a sort of… beginning of the school year kind of deal. It would be really cool if you could come."

Tara looked down at the car keys in her hand in order to avoid his gaze.

"Listen, David… I would love to go. But I hope you understand that whatever this—" she gestured between the two of them, "was, it's over now. I need you to get that we're just friends. I'm not trying to be vain but—but I feel like maybe you're trying to hold onto something that just isn't there anymore."

David nodded, looking put-out but unsurprised.

"I knew that. I'm just… what were you doing with Jax Teller earlier?"

Tara narrowed her eyes at him. She noticed him tense and realized her face must have portrayed her shift into defense mode.

"I just met him today, David. He's nice. And frankly, it's not really your business what I'm doing with him." She rolled her eyes when she saw the look on his face. "Don't get all worried about me. I'm not your responsibility. And I can handle my own shit," she added firmly.

"I know, I know," he held his hands up in defeat. "I know, I'm sorry."

Silence fell between them and Tara tried to wipe the defensive glare off of her face.

"So… I'll see you at the party on Saturday? My house?" he asked, hopeful.

"Yeah, alright, I'll be there," she said, smiling at him lightly when he seemed relieved that he hadn't completely screwed everything up. He opened her car door for her and she allowed him the small gesture. He patted on the car door as she started up the engine. As she rolled out of the parking space, he waved goodbye.

* * *

"So a party, huh?" Donna said over the phone. "That could be fun. First one of the year, it's probably gonna be a fuckin' smash. What do you think?"

"Well," Tara said between crunching Cheetos, "I think it'll be a good time. I need a drink. Not that I couldn't just go downstairs and get one. Although I don't really go for the whole mopey alone drunk type thing."

Her dad was like that—he had been since her mom died when Tara was nine. She cooked and tried to clean around the shit he absolutely wouldn't let her throw away (except she usually threw most of that stuff away, too). Most of the time it was something he would never miss; she wouldn't throw away anything that really had any value to him. She never wanted to become like her dad; she loved him, she had to, but he really only lived to work and drink. He loved her, too, but not enough to refrain from lifting the bottle every minute he was at home.

"Yeah, we could get dressed up, maybe you could scout on some of the guys…" Donna trailed off suspiciously, breaking Tara away from thoughts of her father. "We could go shopping later in the week, if you could get your dad to throw some extra cash your way."

"Yeah," she replied, distracted by getting the orange Cheetos residue off of her fingertips.

"So…" Donna started up again in the way she normally did when she wanted to get information out of anyone. "You and Jax seemed to get on earlier."

"He seems nice," Tara said, knowing where the conversation was headed. Not that she would object hooking up with Jax—that long blond hair just _got _her. But she had more restraint than that; she didn't want to be involved with anyone in Charming when she planned on moving right after she graduated, and she certainly didn't think it was a good idea to get involved with someone who was involved with a motorcycle gang. _Not a gang, _she found herself correcting unconsciously.

"Nice?"

"Yeah."

"How very eloquent of you," Donna said sarcastically. "Oh wait, I gotta go. Opie's calling."

"Oh, I see how it is now. Ditching me for the boyfriend already."

"He's not my boyfriend yet."

"I give it a week," Tara said, laughing. "One date. Wanna bet?"

"Not on your life," Donna replied. "I'll talk to you later."

"Later."

Tara hung up the phone once she heard the dial tone. She was struggling to push the sight of Jax out of her brain. Even if she was ready to commit to someone… Jax wasn't the guy. He was clearly charming, no pun intended, and probably spread himself around most of the girls in his grade and then some. She wasn't about to hop into bed with him so easily. Plus, she doubted her dad would approve; even if he was a drunk, he would still be displeased at the thought of his daughter being corrupted by a local criminal. Well, she didn't know that he was a criminal. She also didn't know if Jax was even interested in her, she thought, and knew she should just stop thinking about the entire thing altogether unless it came up.

But she didn't mind indulging herself a little as she thought how firm his arm felt underneath hers in the cafeteria. A small smirk settled itself on her lips.

_I wonder if I should get some cash to spring for a new outfit, _she thought as she rolled over onto her pillow that she was previously neglecting in favor of her arm. _Something hot._

Tara fell asleep thinking about what stores to visit before the weekend.


End file.
